Monday, April 2, 2012

Featured Author: Javier (click here)

Javier wrote a very exciting story about facing his fear of riding a bull.  Javier did a great job breaking his narrative into paragraphs.  Since publishing this story, he has learned to identify his different paragraphs with line indentions instead of a skipped line.  This allows him to use all 26 lines for his exciting events!  I have included an example of what a paragraph indention should look like below.

Be sure to read below his published story to see how Javier planned his story.  He used a wonderful revising technique to add some very important details.  You will also see an artist at work. Javier drew a scene from this story to share with you!








Javier did a wonderful revising technique where he added some very exciting and important details to his draft before publishing.  Check out how he used the numbering system, and then on another page added supporting information and details.





Comment as "Name/URL"
Students - use your first name only, leave URL blank and press publish.

88 comments:

  1. Kristin (Mr. Adams' Wife)February 21, 2012 at 9:39 PM

    I really enjoyed the descriptions you used. I laughed out loud at the bull's name!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I loved your perfect diolauge.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like how you showed details

    ReplyDelete
  4. Excellent word choice. Made me feel as if I was there

    ReplyDelete
  5. I liked how you did show not tell on the bull

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like your title of your story

      Delete
    2. i like your piture

      Delete
    3. Thanks guys can't wait to see your stories

      Delete
  6. i liked the way you described the bull!!! your story hooked me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I loved your bull's names.your story hooked me up!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I loved how it felt like I was there and asome picture

    ReplyDelete
  9. fabulas title it got me hooked!!!!!!!!! loved the bulls name

    ReplyDelete
  10. I LOVE your intro it grabbed my attintion.Your authors voice was wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I loved how you used supporting details

    ReplyDelete
  12. I loved your picture (;

    ReplyDelete
  13. I like the way you used show not tell.I also like your picture(:

    ReplyDelete
  14. i liked at the end whwn you thought to yourself if you can conquer the bull you can conquer anything.i also liked the picture of the bull!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I like the way your bull snorted at you. Rrrrrrugh, rrrrrrrrugh!

    I like your picture!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I thought you were the best story out of everyones stories.I especially loved your dialog . I think that you can conquer anything. PS I also loved your picture.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Great i loved that you used no dead words

    ReplyDelete
  18. Awesome picture!I love your introdition it hooked me.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I love the title Javier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. YOUR DIOLAUGE IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love the hard work you did on those revisions. Your published story is amazing which a capital A.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. fablus picture my niece loved your story

      Delete
  22. Your conclusion was amazing.Your introduction was wonderful I'd give it a 4.If there were a rubric for revising I'd give you a 4.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Your picture was awesome

    ReplyDelete
  24. Great story it has great word choice. SUPER! picture I love it.I love how you used show not tell.I love how you organized your story in to paragraphs.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Great COCUSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. your beginning was so wonderful..................

    ReplyDelete
  27. I loved how you faced your fears.When I faced my fear of swimming I wasn't scared anymore ;3

    ReplyDelete
  28. I love your picture and the show not tell you used.Cool story Javier.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I loved when you said coquer the bull.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Great job Iwas hooked and I wanted to keep reading.

    ReplyDelete
  31. i love your story and picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. your picture was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL on the bulls name

    ReplyDelete
  33. I love your picture and storys about the bull!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you guys ,those comments mean a lot to me.

      Delete
  34. I like how you used dialogue to make me laugh. I also loved your sound effects in your intro!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I thought you made a really great story and I'm surprised you stayed on that long.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I like how you were thrown off the bull.

    I like your sound effects and dialogue.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I like how you used a lot of dialogue it helps me understand the story better

    ReplyDelete
  38. Your story was so impressive! I would never ride a bull.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Your whole story was awesome, and I loved it because how you described your story instead of using boring words, you used descriptive words.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Your story was descriptive enough that the picture was unnecessary.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Your story was really descriptive! It told me how you felt riding the bull and what you had to accomplish.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I like the action in your story! It was awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  43. I like the way you put dialogue at the beginning of your story!!

    ReplyDelete
  44. I liked the part where you used dialogue and your word choice to describe the bull.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I love this story. Your changes made the story better. The picture looks awesome, and I liked how you used the bull looking into your soul.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I like your story because it had dialogue and sound effects.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I like how you described how your hands were tingling.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I love how you drew your picture,and used the dialogue with the bull!!

    ReplyDelete
  49. I like when you chagned your title.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Now THIS paints a picture in my head. I couldn't stop listening to your story! I also loved your conclusion. :)

    ReplyDelete
  51. I like the way you started in the middle of action!!!! It's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  52. I like when you said ''the bull stared at my soul'' .it sounded scary

    ReplyDelete
  53. I love your story because of dialog i also like your drawing

    ReplyDelete
  54. This introduction really lit me up!! This planted a picture in my head!!! Awesome :)

    ReplyDelete
  55. I loved your dialoge and how you described every thing!!!! It was awsome!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  56. I LOVE LOVE your picture and the Rrrrrugh Rrrrrugh! at the beginning

    ReplyDelete
  57. Now thats what I call AWESOME BLOSSOM writing!!!!!!!! P.S. You are a great drawer:)

    ReplyDelete
  58. Your story is better then my! Also i liked your action in your being of your story!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Your story was grate i read it a million times and could not find a thing rong with it, i also LOVE your !!Rrrrrugh!! at the beginning your picture was AWSOME

    ReplyDelete
  60. I liked your picture becuase I could see you riding the furious bull.

    ReplyDelete
  61. I loved your drawing!! I liked how you moved things, around and made it messy, you didn't try to make it perfect! I loved how you used your dialogue and sound effects very carefully.There was not one thing wrong with it! I loved your whole story including your intro and conclusion! I'm surprised you stayed on that long! Keep making stories like that and you'll be a awesome writer!!

    ReplyDelete
  62. I loved it when you said the bull stared into my soul.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's just what I wanted to say! Your story paints a huge picture in my head!

      Delete
  63. I like when you said that bull scared you to your bones it rocks you are really good at stores

    ReplyDelete
  64. I love the way you said the your hands tingled and I LOVE YOUR PICTURE that is the best drawing ever.I like how you used sound effects in pour story and how the bull stared into your soul. This was the best story ever I hope someday you become a famous writer and write a book about this and be a hero BEST STORY EVER so good luck on your writing,and have a good,happy,wonder life.

    ReplyDelete
  65. I loved it it was not so boring i liked the part you
    said the bull was looking in to your sull

    ReplyDelete
  66. As you chaged the the story. It was pretty nice

    ReplyDelete
  67. Ilove how you said Ruuuuu Ruuuuu at the beganing

    ReplyDelete
  68. I really like your dialoge and I like your picture

    ReplyDelete
  69. I loved the part when you told me the bull stared in to your bones, and I loved your whole story.

    ReplyDelete
  70. I love the part were you wrote the bull was staring into your soul,I could never ride a bull.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Your so brave, i would never in a million years ride a bull.

    ReplyDelete
  72. I love the picture of you riding the buking bull you are relly brave nice man keep it up partner

    ReplyDelete
  73. You annouce anybody can coqouer there fear if you can beleve in your self thanks man your are alrigt i hope you con last langer agin.

    ReplyDelete
  74. I love how you said the bull stared into my soul.I also love your sound effects.Please continue to write fantastic stories. :)

    ReplyDelete
  75. I liked your story because you add feeling in it how you say the bull stared into you soul

    ReplyDelete
  76. I think you're better at bull riding than the real cowboys are. :]

    ReplyDelete

On a Desktop Computer:
Comment as "Name/URL"
Students - use your first name only and leave URL blank
Press publish.

On a mobile device:
Choose "Anonymous"
Then put your name at the end of your comment
Example: "I love your meaningful conclusion! - Mr.Adams"
Press publish.