Saturday, February 18, 2012

Featured Author: Sandra (click here)

Sandra was asked to write about a time she was in a new place or situation and explain how she reacted.  She worked hard and wrote a great story about the first day at a new school.  The heart of her story is something many us can make a connection to.  Sandra and I discussed dividing her future writing into paragraphs to provide clarity to the reader.  I included her pre-writing because Sandra has a very unique way of using a word web.






Below, Sandra planed her story using a double topic T-chart.  She determined her topic, problem, and heart before she drafted her story.



Sandra is a wonderful artist!  It is no surprise to me that her pre-writing is done in such a creative way.  The middle of the flower is her central idea, and each petal contains ideas that she wants to include in her story.



Please comment below and leave Sandra positive feedback on her writing.

Comment as "Name/URL"
Students - use your first name only, leave URL blank and press publish.

66 comments:

  1. Your dialouge was extrodiary!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. Kristin (Mr. Adams' Wife)February 18, 2012 at 7:10 PM

    Your pre-writing flower was such an amazing idea! Also, I really enjoyed how your described your stomach as a washing machine. You are so creative!

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  3. YOUR dialogue was amazing!!!!

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  4. I liked the way you organized your ideas and the heart of your story.

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  5. I enjoyed your vocabulary!!! Can't wait to see some more of your stories! Have a great day.

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  6. I LOVED YOUR PUNCITON AND THE PART ABOUT HOW YOU DISCRIBED YOUR STONCH AS A WASHING MASHINE

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  7. Very nice, descriptive details. I like the way you stayed on topic the whole time.

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  8. I loved how you first felt scared but then you realized it wasn't so bad and ended up having a Bff.I also liked when you started with dialogue.

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  9. Your story was awesome!!!

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  10. I loved when you felt you had a washing machine inside your stomach.

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  11. Sandra I LOVED the way you where scare when i came back to school I was scare that I wasn't going to make any friend too but that friend was you.^3^

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  12. I loved your story!!! I also liked at the beginning when you were scared and ended up being happy.

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  13. I loved your dialogue it was awesome!!! i also loved your story.

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  14. I really enjoyed your story.I loved the dialogue at the beginning!!!!!!!!!!!

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  15. Your ending was awesome

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  16. I relly liked your word choice and your ending great story.

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  17. I really loved your heart of your story

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  18. sandra i like your t-chart

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  19. sandra i like your word choice

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  20. I love when you described how you felt.

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  21. Sandra I love your show not tell.I alse love the way you discribed how you felt.

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  22. I liked how you did your flower.A put the events in oder.

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  23. wonderful word flower! I love how you made me see it in my mind it felt like i was there!

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  24. I LOVE your dialog

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  25. I like the way how you were begging you mom "Please,Please,Please."
    That was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

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  26. I <3 your story Sandra!!!!!!!!!!Your story HOOKED me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  27. Your diolauge is magnifecent

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  28. i love your double trouble T-chart

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  29. i like wane you yelled! that some one is pounding
    you.

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  30. Sandra that was a exciting story

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  31. I like you double trouble T-chart

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  32. Your flower buble map was amazing!

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  33. i love your double trouble t-chart

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  34. that was a great story,i wish i could hear more.i liked your punctuation to!!!!

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  35. your story was excellent because you use dialogue and you describe the way the teacher looked

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  36. i loved your story, not because your my friend because your a great writer!

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  37. your flower was awesome.

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  38. I like how you exclaim it feel like theres a washing machine inside of you!

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  39. I like how you show not tell.

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  40. I love how you and TAYLOR became friends and i love how your hand writing was

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  41. I LIKE YOUR STORY BECAUSE YO U USE SOME OF YOUR SCENES,AND THE WAY YOU USE DESCRIPTIVE WORDS

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  42. I like your double trouble [;

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  43. I really like how you said that your stomach felt like a washing machine I really liked that

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  44. your story blew my mind

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  45. Sandra I like when you said that your stomach felt like a washing machine.

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  46. Your story was great.i like how you described your stomach as a washing machine!!! ;)

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  47. sandra'grandmotherMarch 7, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    i loved your story!!!Keep on writing!

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  48. sandra's grandfatherMarch 7, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    I liked how you use dialogue.I your show not tell.

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  49. I liked your show not tell.I also liked at the end when you include the heart of your story

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  50. I loved your dialogue. I also liked your show not tell.

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  51. I just loved your word choice like when you stated your stomach felt like a washing machine.

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  52. LOVE HOW YOU EXCLAIMED TO MR.ADAMS "YES I WANT YOU TO PUT THIS STORY ON THE B.L.O.G MR.ADAMS" Also
    that was very brave of you saying yes put it on the b.l.o.g Mr.Adams.

    PS A.W.E.S.O.M.E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  53. you make me feel like am there with you now ^3^P.S loved story a lot ;3

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  54. I like how you wrote your title and how you draw

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  55. Sandra I like when you yelled please 3 times that how I felt leaveing my old school's. I felt that a butterfly went down my throat and I swolled it but the most important part is that the body support the head.when I left my first school I felt mad that I wanted to throw a vase at wall and out the window because we had 2 vases.Well now I know that school is important I can alwas can come to your story and learn from that story and I like how you put the lesson learn.I was at my old school from prek-to forth grade for a little until I move to different school's.Do you ever remember your first teacher?I still do.

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  56. I love how you did your flower t-chart.

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  57. Your story was a lot more than amazing!!

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  58. I totally agree with Kimiya!!

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  59. I love how you did your flower t-chart. It's really pretty! I know that feeling of being at a new school!

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  60. i liked your prewriting idea your story was awesome i agree with everyone :)

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  61. i totally agree with Anna c. and grace! your story rocks even if i don't know who you are.

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  62. Sandra Brene in 6th gradeOctober 24, 2013 at 9:42 PM

    thank you all!!!

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On a Desktop Computer:
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Students - use your first name only and leave URL blank
Press publish.

On a mobile device:
Choose "Anonymous"
Then put your name at the end of your comment
Example: "I love your meaningful conclusion! - Mr.Adams"
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