Monday, April 2, 2012

Featured Author: Javier (click here)

Javier wrote a very exciting story about facing his fear of riding a bull.  Javier did a great job breaking his narrative into paragraphs.  Since publishing this story, he has learned to identify his different paragraphs with line indentions instead of a skipped line.  This allows him to use all 26 lines for his exciting events!  I have included an example of what a paragraph indention should look like below.

Be sure to read below his published story to see how Javier planned his story.  He used a wonderful revising technique to add some very important details.  You will also see an artist at work. Javier drew a scene from this story to share with you!








Javier did a wonderful revising technique where he added some very exciting and important details to his draft before publishing.  Check out how he used the numbering system, and then on another page added supporting information and details.





Comment as "Name/URL"
Students - use your first name only, leave URL blank and press publish.

88 comments:

  1. Kristin (Mr. Adams' Wife)February 21, 2012 at 9:39 PM

    I really enjoyed the descriptions you used. I laughed out loud at the bull's name!

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  2. I loved your perfect diolauge.

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  3. I like how you showed details

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  4. Excellent word choice. Made me feel as if I was there

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  5. I liked how you did show not tell on the bull

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    1. I like your title of your story

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    2. i like your piture

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    3. Thanks guys can't wait to see your stories

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  6. i liked the way you described the bull!!! your story hooked me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  7. I loved your bull's names.your story hooked me up!!!!!!!!!

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  8. I loved how it felt like I was there and asome picture

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  9. fabulas title it got me hooked!!!!!!!!! loved the bulls name

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  10. I LOVE your intro it grabbed my attintion.Your authors voice was wonderful.

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  11. I loved how you used supporting details

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  12. I loved your picture (;

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  13. I like the way you used show not tell.I also like your picture(:

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  14. i liked at the end whwn you thought to yourself if you can conquer the bull you can conquer anything.i also liked the picture of the bull!!!

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  15. I like the way your bull snorted at you. Rrrrrrugh, rrrrrrrrugh!

    I like your picture!!

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  16. I thought you were the best story out of everyones stories.I especially loved your dialog . I think that you can conquer anything. PS I also loved your picture.

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  17. Great i loved that you used no dead words

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  18. Awesome picture!I love your introdition it hooked me.

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  19. I love the title Javier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  20. YOUR DIOLAUGE IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  21. I love the hard work you did on those revisions. Your published story is amazing which a capital A.

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    1. fablus picture my niece loved your story

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  22. Your conclusion was amazing.Your introduction was wonderful I'd give it a 4.If there were a rubric for revising I'd give you a 4.

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  23. Your picture was awesome

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  24. Great story it has great word choice. SUPER! picture I love it.I love how you used show not tell.I love how you organized your story in to paragraphs.

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  25. Great COCUSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  26. your beginning was so wonderful..................

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  27. I loved how you faced your fears.When I faced my fear of swimming I wasn't scared anymore ;3

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  28. I love your picture and the show not tell you used.Cool story Javier.

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  29. I loved when you said coquer the bull.

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  30. Great job Iwas hooked and I wanted to keep reading.

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  31. i love your story and picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  32. your picture was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL on the bulls name

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  33. I love your picture and storys about the bull!!!

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    1. Thank you guys ,those comments mean a lot to me.

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  34. I like how you used dialogue to make me laugh. I also loved your sound effects in your intro!

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  35. I thought you made a really great story and I'm surprised you stayed on that long.

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  36. I like how you were thrown off the bull.

    I like your sound effects and dialogue.

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  37. I like how you used a lot of dialogue it helps me understand the story better

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  38. Your story was so impressive! I would never ride a bull.

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  39. Your whole story was awesome, and I loved it because how you described your story instead of using boring words, you used descriptive words.

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  40. Your story was descriptive enough that the picture was unnecessary.

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  41. Your story was really descriptive! It told me how you felt riding the bull and what you had to accomplish.

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  42. I like the action in your story! It was awesome!

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  43. I like the way you put dialogue at the beginning of your story!!

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  44. I liked the part where you used dialogue and your word choice to describe the bull.

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  45. I love this story. Your changes made the story better. The picture looks awesome, and I liked how you used the bull looking into your soul.

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  46. I like your story because it had dialogue and sound effects.

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  47. I like how you described how your hands were tingling.

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  48. I love how you drew your picture,and used the dialogue with the bull!!

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  49. I like when you chagned your title.

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  50. Now THIS paints a picture in my head. I couldn't stop listening to your story! I also loved your conclusion. :)

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  51. I like the way you started in the middle of action!!!! It's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  52. I like when you said ''the bull stared at my soul'' .it sounded scary

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  53. I love your story because of dialog i also like your drawing

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  54. This introduction really lit me up!! This planted a picture in my head!!! Awesome :)

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  55. I loved your dialoge and how you described every thing!!!! It was awsome!!!!!!!!!!!

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  56. I LOVE LOVE your picture and the Rrrrrugh Rrrrrugh! at the beginning

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  57. Now thats what I call AWESOME BLOSSOM writing!!!!!!!! P.S. You are a great drawer:)

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  58. Your story is better then my! Also i liked your action in your being of your story!

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  59. Your story was grate i read it a million times and could not find a thing rong with it, i also LOVE your !!Rrrrrugh!! at the beginning your picture was AWSOME

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  60. I liked your picture becuase I could see you riding the furious bull.

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  61. I loved your drawing!! I liked how you moved things, around and made it messy, you didn't try to make it perfect! I loved how you used your dialogue and sound effects very carefully.There was not one thing wrong with it! I loved your whole story including your intro and conclusion! I'm surprised you stayed on that long! Keep making stories like that and you'll be a awesome writer!!

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  62. I loved it when you said the bull stared into my soul.

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    1. That's just what I wanted to say! Your story paints a huge picture in my head!

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  63. I like when you said that bull scared you to your bones it rocks you are really good at stores

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  64. I love the way you said the your hands tingled and I LOVE YOUR PICTURE that is the best drawing ever.I like how you used sound effects in pour story and how the bull stared into your soul. This was the best story ever I hope someday you become a famous writer and write a book about this and be a hero BEST STORY EVER so good luck on your writing,and have a good,happy,wonder life.

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  65. I loved it it was not so boring i liked the part you
    said the bull was looking in to your sull

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  66. As you chaged the the story. It was pretty nice

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  67. Ilove how you said Ruuuuu Ruuuuu at the beganing

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  68. I really like your dialoge and I like your picture

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  69. I loved the part when you told me the bull stared in to your bones, and I loved your whole story.

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  70. I love the part were you wrote the bull was staring into your soul,I could never ride a bull.

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  71. Your so brave, i would never in a million years ride a bull.

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  72. I love the picture of you riding the buking bull you are relly brave nice man keep it up partner

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  73. You annouce anybody can coqouer there fear if you can beleve in your self thanks man your are alrigt i hope you con last langer agin.

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  74. I love how you said the bull stared into my soul.I also love your sound effects.Please continue to write fantastic stories. :)

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  75. I liked your story because you add feeling in it how you say the bull stared into you soul

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  76. I think you're better at bull riding than the real cowboys are. :]

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Then put your name at the end of your comment
Example: "I love your meaningful conclusion! - Mr.Adams"
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